I see lights alive like a thousand suns. It is as if I am being transported into the unknown. Still for a moment, not knowing how long a moment may be. I imagine myself replaying a film I have watched a thousand times. That's my bedroom, that's my tiled floor and that's my table.
A familiar face looks at the character. I soon come to realise it is me. It is all me. A carefree young adult. Me, a frail old man. Another figure, laying helplessly, is also me. Pointing to a black, nothingness future.
My first breath replays as I re-watch my whole life.
Caitlin - what a wonderfully imaginative piece of writing to start the blog off! I love your opening simile. You also experiment with sentence structure in an interesting way. I want to read more!
It's like a false blur. I see it. I see everything. Everything is so discreet. The inside glass of my helmet turns foggy. Standing in the middle of the room. Tiles so chilly i can almost feel the cold from inside my boots. I take a step. It's all there. Bed, Mirror, Table. I glance towards the other room. There he was. There I was.
It's me, I was an aged man. I was THE aged man. The aged man with a old black ensemble. It falls. The glass. It falls on the cold paved floor. My head turns to the left. I look. I stare. It's me. AGAIN. ill and laying in agony. It raises. My hand raises. Pointing to an abnormal black wall. Was it a wall? Maybe a door?
I stood in the corner of the room, curious yet nervous as to what I have just found. I'm facing this weird circular machine, its almost like a time machine. I'm so confused, I have no idea where I am. I walk slowly and steadily towards an open door, I pass through it and I see what looks very familiar to me but I cant make out what it is. my vision is blurred and my head hurts. I manage to make out the objects in front of me, a toilet, a mirror, a sink and a bath. I guess I found my way into the bathroom. I spin round slowly to then find another open door, a man, dressed in all black, is sitting at a table eating. he turns around to face me. I jump backwards startled as to what I have just seen, the man looks so similar to someone I know, I think for a while. I realised he looks like an older version of me. How am I seeing this? What's going on? My life is flashing before my eyes, I realise as I turn to my left. An old wrinkled man is laying in bed, he looks like he is in agony. He suddenly raises his arm pointing toward something, what is he pointing too?
I really like the way you started it of Elise also i like the way you described the scene without revealing or going in too much detail if that makes any sence .
Ria and Ellise - more fantastic writing! Well done! I love your opening sentence Ria 'like a false blur' - such an interesting way of describing how you feel. The confusion in your writing Ellise is also very effective with the addition of the frequent rhetorical questions.
I watched the sleeping figure on the bed ,not a word , twitch nor a spasm hardly and movement at all such was the depth of his oblivion .The body was totally as peace , at rest. No emotion ,no pain time stood still as the old mind blocked out the horror and pain lived out each and every every day . The dreams of the figure blocked out the dangers of the outside world , the calm intake of his breath seemed to make the earth seem still .
The wind blew across the room carrying a disturbing whisper with it , I knew something was wrong. There was a sent of enigma that filled the room. My eyes watered like a waterfall , I bleed the salt of my soul as it poured from my eyes , i saw the darkness that I know will soon swallow me , an aura of greg surrounded me I was in a state if depression that I couldn't see myself get through .
Drop !! tears fell one by one becoming stronger and more painful each time . My hands started to shake my body started to tremble a strange feeling went down my spine . I felt as if I had no energy and that my heart was slowly giving up on me . I felt helpless ,completely useless and unaware of the situation . I could no longer control my hands; they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm as the colour drained from my face.
Ouch my leg ...m-mm-my leg I couldn't feel it ,it was as if pain turned into oxygen and slowly but gradually entered my body and made its way to my heart . Crack! my bones came shooting out ,one by one . whats happening ? I looked outside it was morning but it was only midnight a few minutes ago . My life flashed passed me , every single painful moment cracked one bone . Crack , Crack one by one I witnessed my bones breaking each and everyone drenched in blood. I swear it could not have hurt more if someone would have just cut my hand of slowly vein by vein finger by finger and then burnt me alive . The pain made my eyes wa... Wait now I felt nothing . My bones filled the red floor , my guts my organs or what was left of them covered the ceiling it was as if a volcano had just erupted it ,it was as if I was in a lions cage and it was dinner time . I eased my breathing slowly, then the smell hit me, i tried to prevent the bile rising in my throat as the putrid scent invaded my nostrils. Now I knew my body was transforming but into what ? And why ?
My head started spinning around and around . Thoughts filled my head ,until I was dizzy How am I still alive ? What happened Why? I remembered I was watching a sleeping figure before this , this nightmare started . I went closer and closer breaking my own bones as i did so now, my insides burned like hells flames . I went closer . faster. until I stood in front of the figure . I was amazed by the light brown tint to his skin , the way his body curled up and he hugged the pillow so closely . He looked like he was in his mid sixties .He fascinated me , I watched the light fade out of his eyes , his hand growing cold and stone like in my grasp. Drop. I couldn't make the tears stop, . Silence.Nothing. Did he just DIE ?
Why was I crying ? wait no one ever fascinated me a-apat from myself . I looked closely at the face , it wasn't me , I was right here and i wasn't that old Just then my eyes locked on to the locket that hung from beneath his pale neck . The same locket on my neck. I tried to move my hands to grab it , but I had no hands instead I had a socket an arm socket which would normally hold my hands in place. I stared at the locket . stared, and nothing else . The locket moved I was moving it . My eyes moved it, what was happening ? I felt that time was running out , the locket opened and there was a picture . A picture. No. No !! No ! Noooooooooo I refused to believe it .
Darkness covered the room , silence encompassed the atmosphere , death ate my surrounding .
I just witnessed how I would die Wait if I just witnessed my death ,how am I alive .
Love this Zikrah! Wow! I really like 'the depth of his oblivion' - so powerful! It seems to turn into some kind of horror story with the guts and organs! I love the personification of Death too. Please comment on other students' stories if you get chance.
I continue to blink my eyes in order to focus them. Floor, wall, ceiling; white as snow. I try rotating round until I realise I'm stuck, fixed into this one position. I look out to find someone returning my stare. I no longer feel trapped, this place, it feels so familiar yet I feel so lost. I find myself in front of what appears to be my own reflection, something I am no longer familiar with. I stood still under the door frame. Slowly, the elder man in front turns round to peer over his shoulder. But there was no one there. I turn around to finish until the single crystal that held my water, now a million pieces scattered across the floor beneath. I stop myself in the action of clearing up when I notice something different. A weak, wrinkled man lie still in my bed. Again, I feel trapped, different this time, my body being the complication. Feeling like I've aged within minutes, my body continues to weaken with each move. Like I've lived a life time and visited the memories.
I stood there frozen in time, scared to really see what was going to happen to me in my future. I felt claustrophobic in the tight space suit. Why was I wearing it? I don't remember putting it on, then I remembered; I had been wearing it the day I died.
A big, white, pure room with minimal decoration surrounded me. I headed towards the doorway unknown to what was going to happen. I came across another white room with four tall walls towering over me.
It finally came to me, what I was seeing was my future if I hadn't have died.
Wow! That was strange dream. I now know what will happen to me in the future as I grow older and weaker. I saw myself sitting all alone on my wooden chair in my bedroom. My hair was as white as snow, wrinkles appeared on my face. I was getting weaker as days went by. I could see myself laying down on my bed unable to move a muscle. I saw the glass shattered all over the floor as I lost grip from my frail hands. ( I don't know if I have done it right, but here it is) Saara
Silently I laid my foot on the squared white flooring. It felt as if it was my first step walking on the even tiles. Glazing around, my heart was rapidly beating. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Time felt as if it was against me. Gently I began walking, I saw a door and exited.
Searching; these unknown mystery rooms, I looked and looked. But what was I looking for? Shadows appeared on the blank white walls, placed with ordinary objects, I kept watching this anonymous black figure. I stopped. There on the mirror is me. It's me.
I was walking into another blank room. Suddenly I saw something. Me. That was me. Mesmerized, I stood there watching like a hawk. I didn't blink for a single second. Flash. Thoughts ran across my head, too confusing for me even to think.
Awake .Exposed. Light , like a burning ball in the sky that shone so brightly my eyes are forced shut. It made me feel as though I was in another world though everything seemed as though I had experienced and encountered it before. I walk, slowly , cautiously. A bathroom , Mirror , reflecting, me. My Image, distorted as though it is not familiar anymore. Out of the corner of my eye I see a doorway and a man dressed in all black, he turns round to see... nothing . It falls, dispersed into a million pieces, I look up. Who is that ??? old , old and wrinkled , pointing. Towards, towards a black door. The end of my life flashes before me as I take my very first breath.
I slowly walk into the spacious, bright white room in my heavy orange space suit. What is this place? Walking slowly through the doors i stopped at a mirror, and just stood there staring at what i was.I finally walk over to another door, gradually my footsteps were getting heavier and heavier. I look into another simialr room, there was an old, wrinkly man sat at the table.Then i realised, it was me.. Me? My future self. I walk to a table in my old body, sit down, drink. My glass shatters to the floor in hundreds of peices. Then gradually turning to my right i see me again, lying in my bed. Pointing to a black door, looking very uncomfortable, that's it. The end of a new beginning.
Where am I? What's going on? I see something flash before my eyes. I am now looking into a room, a quiet, spacious room. I carefully walk out, hearing my heavy footsteps on the cold, hard floor. I walk straight into a different room, a bathroom. I see a bath, a toilet and a mirror. I see a familiar face looking back at me. Who is this man? Is it me? It is me. I turn back towards the room and I see a man, dressed in black, his white, snow like hair. The man gets up and starts to walk towards me. This man is me. In the future maybe? I don't know, everything is really confusing. I walk out into the room, and sit at the table. I drop the glass, it shattering into a million little pieces. I slowly turn and look at the bed, my bed. the is an old, wrinkled man, pointing at a black door. Is this the end?
Its been 10 years, 10 years of sleepless nights,tossing and turning. I'm scared, I've always been scared; of the future. I'm 40 and I'm aware i probably shouldn't be getting nightmares at my age, but there not nightmares it's my future. I see it, i see my future, it's unclear but i see it. I'm going to loose everything, it all seems like it will happen so quickly.
I don't know why or how this is happening but it is every night, i see my future laying ahead of me as if I'm watching it on my flat screen tv and as each night goes on the clearer it becomes. I watch myself deteriorate as everything crumbles around me. I don't understand how my life will change so quickly but drastically.
To me my future isn't a 'thing', its a person, a being that's determined to destroy me but the worst thing about it is why? why do i see this? why? It's definitely not normal, that's probably because I'm not 'normal'.
One step, then a second. The sounds of his orange suit vibrates off the blank walls. A sink, a bath, a toilet, a mirror. All oddly familiar. Like from a dream, or a dream of a dream. That mirror. A reflection, his reflection, our reflection.
Then another me. Another colour against the snowy background. It's like he can sense us. He gets up and looks, right through me, through himself. I follow him silently, like a ghost. I like that idea, I feel like a ghost. I've led a thousand lives, and seen a thousand moons. But never have I been seen.
Then he starts to eat like nothing's happening. Like I'm not right behind him, like I'm not having an epiphany. I want to scream, to make him see. I knock the crystal glass, hoping he'll see. He doesn't, and he won't at least not yet. His wrinkles tense, like creases on a paper. Then he see's it. See's me. See's him.
The third me lays alone. I can feel his heart beating. Feel mine accelerating. Like a bird in a cage. Then nothing. The wings stop beating.
Now it's just black. It's the end. They finally see me. Gabriella
The strong, bright reflections of the white room shine directly into my eyes it takes me a few seconds to work out where or when I am. Blink after blink I then take my first steps the oversized suit I wear makes it a struggle.
I realise I can now see everything the past, the future the present. I slowly pace all the way to another room again all white and calm I see another door in the corner of my eye I then see someone a person who looks a bit like an older version of me, he's sitting at a desk he turns looks at me I then find myself somewhere else, I find myself at the desk I was looking at just a second ago I cant control what I do I find myself just staring at a plate of food in a sudden moment I turn to find a glass smashed on the floor as I go to pick it up I have an urge to turn my head, and I do, I get a little shocked to see someone in my bed an old man yet its me.
I again find myself transported into this man laid in this bed useless and still I can see a large black screen getting closer and closer till it covers all of the bright white light I then find myself in a black enclosed space like I am enclosed in a locked box Shannon cox
I feel a presence, someone, something behind me. I struggle to see, struggle to stand. The bathroom. I slowly walk over knowing there is nothing there but something draws me to it. Nothing. It's the same thing everyday but i never learn, never learn that there's nothing there. I trudge slowly back to my table annoyed by my foolishness once again. Once sat down I reach for my cup when it falls, breaking into a million pieces of glass scattering the floor. I look up to see a figure, a familiar figure I've seen a million times before but never get used too. A man laying limp in my bed. Is it me? I already know the answer but too scared to answer it. I close my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes coming face to face with the ceiling. The soft bed bellow me supporting my fragile body. My sore body, My skin feel rough sore to the touch. I feel my arm rising, then my head. Pointing to a black square in front of me. The square gets closer and closer. Closer to seeing my life flash before my eyes. Another day, the same story. My story
"I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next" as it ingages the reader and makes them feel the panic and helplessness that the character is feeling
I feel so sick. I need help. I dont know how long i have left. Do i have one minute, two minute, three minute or 4 minute left. I wonder what will happen once my time is up. Does anyone even realise that i have disappeared, or even that my agony is becoming worse. Why is no one here with me. I direct my eyes north, towards the ceiling which i am now focussing on. I gently close my eyes and all of these flashbacks of the memories since i was a young child appear. My wish as a child was to always be like my father (who sadly passed) who was once a astronaut in a red suit that i have always wanted. The precious red suit is now in my possesion. I have never been so happy. I look at my self in the mirror and see the resembilence of my father. I turn 90 degrees clockwise and i see a figure in black. I squint my eyes and get a closer look of who this man could be. He looks just like me, this cant be. It really is me.
I am now in control of this man who is sitting at this empty table. And slowly reach for a napkin but I accidently knock over the glass. I watch as is shatters against the tiled floor.
I look up and see, once again another version of me, however a very old man laying in a bed, looking so sick. Where is his family.
I blink and realise that i am that man. I am the sick man without any family around me.
Suddenly, a black box appears in front of me. A small fetus appears. Is that me. It must be. I guess that was a sign telling me that my time has come.
I'm here, i've arrived into this mysterious house. But where exactly am I? The room is soo bright and vivid, everything soo white and glossy, so drifferent. I look accross to the other room, I see an old man wearing a long black coat, sitting on his desk, writing something. He turns and there... just there... i know who this man is. It's me? this man is me? i know it is. He turns back towards his desk moving to to another, he looks accross his shoulder, looking at the very old man who's laying in a bed. He looks poorly, soo old and fragile; I then take a look again at the old man and realise thats me aswell, that is the end of the stage, my life.
I took a few steps into my old house, the one my wife, kids and i used to live in, before i took my journey into outer space. I'd been sent back to see if our world survived... i knew it had been a long time that I'd been gone, but clearly hadnt registered the length of time i've been gone. it was as if it had been centuries since I walked down this corridors. But? nothing seems right? the atmosphere around me made me feel like invader of my own home.
searching the rooms to try find my beloved wife and kids, i came to a peculiar room, I slowly walked in. Everything dirty grey. Wait? I found myself to mirror, who am i? No, clearly no? How... how could it of been that long, how long has it truely bin?
Where am I? It took some time for my eyes to adjust, the floor shone so bright. Where am I? How did I get here? I look around the room and I feel like I’ve been here before. It was like de ja vau. The curiosity was unbearable; I neared the room that was next door only to find a mirror. Was that me? When I was younger? Yes. Yes. That man was me. I was standing. My legs were in perfect condition. How did this happen? How did I get here? More importantly why? I look towards myself in the mirror. Hundreds of questions arise in my mind. It was if my mind was a cinema and thousands of questions flickered onto the screen for a mere millisecond. Wanting to know more I approached another room where I saw this man.
I looked around the room and there was a white bed with very minimal décor. This man was dressed in black sitting at a table, very intrigued and after thinking about it, I reliase that, that man is also me but when I was a bit older. I needed to find out what was going on; I walked into the room where I took a seat and just though for a minute. It was so silent it was enough to make you insane. To hear an entire breath. An entire movement. My dumped my head into my hands. I felt the warmth from my hands slowly reach the inside of my head. I couldn’t help but think. Is this real? Is it a dream?
I feel this presence, like there is someone else in the room with me. I turn to look towards the bed and finally I see the real me. It was me lying in a bed. Frozen and still. I couldn’t move. Suddenly I felt like I was floating. Like I was nothing but air and I clenched my eyes shut as tight as I could. I could feel pain in my chest. I felt like I was being spun around a thousand miles per hour and feel like I was in a hole. Suddenly it all stops. I slowly open my eyes dreading where I would be. I was me again. I look to the end of the bed towards my feet, except I can’t. It was if I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move. I tried with all the strength, strength I didn’t even know I had in me. I see this black box in front of me without even trying I could lift my hand up towards a certain point and after that point it would go no higher. What was going on?
In mice of men, John Steinbeck creates the atmosphere of the place he is talking about in a very interesting way.
Firstly, he goes on to describe the setting in which his characters will be in. He first tells us where the actual area is "a few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green" the words "hillside" and "bank" tells us that the area is full of hills and water. We associate the word "hillside" to be in the coast, quiet and peaceful. This tells the reader that the atmosphere is peaceful and calm.
John Steinbeck then goes onto explain the shape of the setting through imagery. "the golden foothill slopes curve up to strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains" This tells us that the setting is mountainous and strong. This gives us an image in our heads of mountains, hills, trees and water.
Thirdly, John Steinbeck describes the types of animals that were around in the setting. "rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of ' coons, and with the spread of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark" The word "'coons" tells us that the narrator of this extract uses slang. The word coon is associated with racoons. This tells us that the "coons" only come out at night. This tells us that during the day, the setting is very peaceful as there is little animals around.
In the third paragraph, the narrator explains the scene. "the shade climbed up the hills toward the top" this informs us that the scene is taking place in the morning. The writer is also using personification to describe how the shade may act if it were human. This sparks an imagination in our minds.
The opening chapter in Of Mice and Men is important because it gives us hints on what is to come later. The novel starts by Steinbeck describing a calm soothing mountainside, then two men emerge; George and Lennie. However, Steinbeck doesn't physically phrase names.
They break the peace, the animals scatter and the two men make quite a bit of noise. Steinbeck is telling us that everything is alright, but then these two men come along and ruin everything; this is important later on as George and Lennie end up at this same place at the end of the novel, this is where their dream ends. It plays a significant part in the novel.
George, the first character to be introduced, is described as a "small and quick, dark of face" man with "restless eyes and sharp strong features". This tells us that he is an intellectual man, who is presumably the leader. However, the second man Lennie is described as completely his opposite, a "huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, with wide, sloping shoulders". This gives us the impression he is quite a large man, and is tired, maybe from walking a long distance.
Thanks Ria, Caitlin and Siarah for these lovely comments so far. I've created a new post on the blog specifically for these comments on 'Of Mice and Men'. Would you be able to copy and past them into the new post?
In mice of men, John Steinbeck creates the atmosphere of the place he is talking about in a very interesting way.
Firstly, he goes on to describe the setting in which his characters will be in. He first tells us where the actual area is "a few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green" the words "hillside" and "bank" tells us that the area is full of hills and water. We associate the word "hillside" to be in the coast, quiet and peaceful. This tells the reader that the atmosphere is peaceful and calm.
John Steinbeck then goes onto explain the shape of the setting through imagery. "the golden foothill slopes curve up to strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains" This tells us that the setting is mountainous and strong. This gives us an image in our heads of mountains, hills, trees and water.
Thirdly, John Steinbeck describes the types of animals that were around in the setting. "rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of ' coons, and with the spread of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark" The word "'coons" tells us that the narrator of this extract uses slang. The word coon is associated with racoons. This tells us that the "coons" only come out at night. This tells us that during the day, the setting is very peaceful as there is little animals around.
In the third paragraph, the narrator explains the scene. "the shade climbed up the hills toward the top" this informs us that the scene is taking place in the morning. The writer is also using personification to describe how the shade may act if it were human. This sparks an imagination in our minds.
I see lights alive like a thousand suns. It is as if I am being transported into the unknown. Still for a moment, not knowing how long a moment may be. I imagine myself replaying a film I have watched a thousand times. That's my bedroom, that's my tiled floor and that's my table.
ReplyDeleteA familiar face looks at the character. I soon come to realise it is me. It is all me. A carefree young adult. Me, a frail old man. Another figure, laying helplessly, is also me. Pointing to a black, nothingness future.
My first breath replays as I re-watch my whole life.
Caitlin Warner
Caitlin - what a wonderfully imaginative piece of writing to start the blog off! I love your opening simile. You also experiment with sentence structure in an interesting way. I want to read more!
ReplyDeleteIt's like a false blur. I see it. I see everything. Everything is so discreet. The inside glass of my helmet turns foggy. Standing in the middle of the room. Tiles so chilly i can almost feel the cold from inside my boots. I take a step. It's all there. Bed, Mirror, Table. I glance towards the other room. There he was. There I was.
ReplyDeleteIt's me, I was an aged man. I was THE aged man. The aged man with a old black ensemble. It falls. The glass. It falls on the cold paved floor. My head turns to the left. I look. I stare. It's me. AGAIN. ill and laying in agony. It raises. My hand raises. Pointing to an abnormal black wall. Was it a wall? Maybe a door?
It ends there. My Life.
Ria
I stood in the corner of the room, curious yet nervous as to what I have just found. I'm facing this weird circular machine, its almost like a time machine. I'm so confused, I have no idea where I am. I walk slowly and steadily towards an open door, I pass through it and I see what looks very familiar to me but I cant make out what it is. my vision is blurred and my head hurts. I manage to make out the objects in front of me, a toilet, a mirror, a sink and a bath. I guess I found my way into the bathroom. I spin round slowly to then find another open door, a man, dressed in all black, is sitting at a table eating. he turns around to face me. I jump backwards startled as to what I have just seen, the man looks so similar to someone I know, I think for a while. I realised he looks like an older version of me. How am I seeing this? What's going on? My life is flashing before my eyes, I realise as I turn to my left. An old wrinkled man is laying in bed, he looks like he is in agony. He suddenly raises his arm pointing toward something, what is he pointing too?
ReplyDeleteEllise
I really like the way you started it of Elise also i like the way you described the scene without revealing or going in too much detail if that makes any sence .
DeleteRia and Ellise - more fantastic writing! Well done! I love your opening sentence Ria 'like a false blur' - such an interesting way of describing how you feel. The confusion in your writing Ellise is also very effective with the addition of the frequent rhetorical questions.
ReplyDeleteI watched the sleeping figure on the bed ,not a word , twitch nor a spasm hardly and movement at all such was the depth of his oblivion .The body was totally as peace , at rest. No emotion ,no pain time stood still as the old mind blocked out the horror and pain lived out each and every every day . The dreams of the figure blocked out the dangers of the outside world , the calm intake of his breath seemed to make the earth seem still .
ReplyDeleteThe wind blew across the room carrying a disturbing whisper with it , I knew something was wrong. There was a sent of enigma that filled the room. My eyes watered like a waterfall ,
I bleed the salt of my soul as it poured from my eyes , i saw the darkness that I know will soon swallow me , an aura of greg surrounded me I was in a state if depression that I couldn't see myself get through .
Drop !! tears fell one by one becoming stronger and more painful each time . My hands started to shake my body started to tremble a strange feeling went down my spine . I felt as if I had no energy and that my heart was slowly giving up on me . I felt helpless ,completely useless and unaware of the situation . I could no longer control my hands; they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm as the colour drained from my face.
Ouch my leg ...m-mm-my leg I couldn't feel it ,it was as if pain turned into oxygen and slowly but gradually entered my body and made its way to my heart . Crack! my bones came shooting out ,one by one . whats happening ? I looked outside it was morning but it was only midnight a few minutes ago . My life flashed passed me , every single painful moment cracked one bone . Crack , Crack one by one I witnessed my bones breaking each and everyone drenched in blood. I swear it could not have hurt more if someone would have just cut my hand of slowly vein by vein finger by finger and then burnt me alive . The pain made my eyes wa... Wait now I felt nothing . My bones filled the red floor , my guts my organs or what was left of them covered the ceiling it was as if a volcano had just erupted it ,it was as if I was in a lions cage and it was dinner time . I eased my breathing slowly, then the smell hit me, i tried to prevent the bile rising in my throat as the putrid scent invaded my nostrils. Now I knew my body was transforming but into what ? And why ?
My head started spinning around and around . Thoughts filled my head ,until I was dizzy
How am I still alive ?
What happened
Why?
I remembered I was watching a sleeping figure before this , this nightmare started . I went closer and closer breaking my own bones as i did so now, my insides burned like hells flames . I went closer . faster. until I stood in front of the figure . I was amazed by the light brown tint to his skin , the way his body curled up and he hugged the pillow so closely . He looked like he was in his mid sixties .He fascinated me , I watched the light fade out of his eyes , his hand growing cold and stone like in my grasp. Drop. I couldn't make the tears stop,
. Silence.Nothing. Did he just DIE ?
Why was I crying ? wait no one ever fascinated me a-apat from myself . I looked closely at the face , it wasn't me , I was right here and i wasn't that old Just then my eyes locked on to the locket that hung from beneath his pale neck . The same locket on my neck. I tried to move my hands to grab it , but I had no hands instead I had a socket an arm socket which would normally hold my hands in place. I stared at the locket . stared, and nothing else . The locket moved I was moving it .
My eyes moved it, what was happening ? I felt that time was running out , the locket opened and there was a picture . A picture. No. No !! No ! Noooooooooo I refused to believe it .
Darkness covered the room , silence encompassed the atmosphere , death ate my surrounding .
I just witnessed how I would die
Wait if I just witnessed my death ,how am I alive .
AM I A GHOSt?
Love this Zikrah! Wow! I really like 'the depth of his oblivion' - so powerful! It seems to turn into some kind of horror story with the guts and organs! I love the personification of Death too. Please comment on other students' stories if you get chance.
ReplyDeleteI continue to blink my eyes in order to focus them. Floor, wall, ceiling; white as snow. I try rotating round until I realise I'm stuck, fixed into this one position. I look out to find someone returning my stare. I no longer feel trapped, this place, it feels so familiar yet I feel so lost. I find myself in front of what appears to be my own reflection, something I am no longer familiar with. I stood still under the door frame. Slowly, the elder man in front turns round to peer over his shoulder. But there was no one there. I turn around to finish until the single crystal that held my water, now a million pieces scattered across the floor beneath. I stop myself in the action of clearing up when I notice something different. A weak, wrinkled man lie still in my bed. Again, I feel trapped, different this time, my body being the complication. Feeling like I've aged within minutes, my body continues to weaken with each move. Like I've lived a life time and visited the memories.
ReplyDeleteHolly
I stood there frozen in time, scared to really see what was going to happen to me in my future. I felt claustrophobic in the tight space suit. Why was I wearing it? I don't remember putting it on, then I remembered; I had been wearing it the day I died.
ReplyDeleteA big, white, pure room with minimal decoration surrounded me. I headed towards the doorway unknown to what was going to happen. I came across another white room with four tall walls towering over me.
It finally came to me, what I was seeing was my future if I hadn't have died.
Hannah W
Wow! That was strange dream. I now know what will happen to me in the future as I grow older and weaker.
ReplyDeleteI saw myself sitting all alone on my wooden chair in my bedroom. My hair was as white as snow, wrinkles appeared on my face. I was getting weaker as days went by. I could see myself laying down on my bed unable to move a muscle. I saw the glass shattered all over the floor as I lost grip from my frail hands.
( I don't know if I have done it right, but here it is)
Saara
Silently I laid my foot on the squared white flooring. It felt as if it was my first step walking on the even tiles. Glazing around, my heart was rapidly beating. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Time felt as if it was against me. Gently I began walking, I saw a door and exited.
ReplyDeleteSearching; these unknown mystery rooms, I looked and looked. But what was I looking for? Shadows appeared on the blank white walls, placed with ordinary objects, I kept watching this anonymous black figure. I stopped. There on the mirror is me. It's me.
I was walking into another blank room. Suddenly I saw something. Me. That was me. Mesmerized, I stood there watching like a hawk. I didn't blink for a single second. Flash. Thoughts ran across my head, too confusing for me even to think.
Now I know who I am.
Simren
I like your words - searching , unknown , mystery , mesmerised etc.
DeleteRamala
Awake .Exposed. Light , like a burning ball in the sky that shone so brightly my eyes are forced shut. It made me feel as though I was in another world though everything seemed as though I had experienced and encountered it before.
ReplyDeleteI walk, slowly , cautiously. A bathroom , Mirror , reflecting, me.
My Image, distorted as though it is not familiar anymore. Out of the corner of my eye I see a doorway and a man dressed in all black, he turns round to see... nothing . It falls, dispersed into a million pieces, I look up. Who is that ??? old , old and wrinkled , pointing. Towards, towards a black door.
The end of my life flashes before me as I take my very first breath.
Ramala
I slowly walk into the spacious, bright white room in my heavy orange space suit. What is this place? Walking slowly through the doors i stopped at a mirror, and just stood there staring at what i was.I finally walk over to another door, gradually my footsteps were getting heavier and heavier.
ReplyDeleteI look into another simialr room, there was an old, wrinkly man sat at the table.Then i realised, it was me.. Me? My future self. I walk to a table in my old body, sit down, drink. My glass shatters to the floor in hundreds of peices. Then gradually turning to my right i see me again, lying in my bed. Pointing to a black door, looking very uncomfortable, that's it. The end of a new beginning.
Amy
Where am I? What's going on? I see something flash before my eyes. I am now looking into a room, a quiet, spacious room. I carefully walk out, hearing my heavy footsteps on the cold, hard floor. I walk straight into a different room, a bathroom. I see a bath, a toilet and a mirror. I see a familiar face looking back at me.
ReplyDeleteWho is this man? Is it me? It is me. I turn back towards the room and I see a man, dressed in black, his white, snow like hair. The man gets up and starts to walk towards me. This man is me. In the future maybe? I don't know, everything is really confusing.
I walk out into the room, and sit at the table. I drop the glass, it shattering into a million little pieces. I slowly turn and look at the bed, my bed. the is an old, wrinkled man, pointing at a black door. Is this the end?
Shania
Its been 10 years, 10 years of sleepless nights,tossing and turning. I'm scared, I've always been scared; of the future. I'm 40 and I'm aware i probably shouldn't be getting nightmares at my age, but there not nightmares it's my future. I see it, i see my future, it's unclear but i see it. I'm going to loose everything, it all seems like it will happen so quickly.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why or how this is happening but it is every night, i see my future laying ahead of me as if I'm watching it on my flat screen tv and as each night goes on the clearer it becomes. I watch myself deteriorate as everything crumbles around me. I don't understand how my life will change so quickly but drastically.
To me my future isn't a 'thing', its a person, a being that's determined to destroy me but the worst thing about it is why? why do i see this? why? It's definitely not normal, that's probably because I'm not 'normal'.
Millie
One step, then a second. The sounds of his orange suit vibrates off the blank walls. A sink, a bath, a toilet, a mirror. All oddly familiar. Like from a dream, or a dream of a dream. That mirror. A reflection, his reflection, our reflection.
ReplyDeleteThen another me. Another colour against the snowy background. It's like he can sense us. He gets up and looks, right through me, through himself. I follow him silently, like a ghost. I like that idea, I feel like a ghost. I've led a thousand lives, and seen a thousand moons. But never have I been seen.
Then he starts to eat like nothing's happening. Like I'm not right behind him, like I'm not having an epiphany. I want to scream, to make him see. I knock the crystal glass, hoping he'll see. He doesn't, and he won't at least not yet. His wrinkles tense, like creases on a paper. Then he see's it. See's me. See's him.
The third me lays alone. I can feel his heart beating. Feel mine accelerating. Like a bird in a cage. Then nothing. The wings stop beating.
Now it's just black. It's the end. They finally see me.
Gabriella
The strong, bright reflections of the white room shine directly into my eyes it takes me a few seconds to work out where or when I am. Blink after blink I then take my first steps the oversized suit I wear makes it a struggle.
ReplyDeleteI realise I can now see everything the past, the future the present. I slowly pace all the way to another room again all white and calm I see another door in the corner of my eye I then see someone a person who looks a bit like an older version of me, he's sitting at a desk he turns looks at me I then find myself somewhere else, I find myself at the desk I was looking at just a second ago I cant control what I do I find myself just staring at a plate of food in a sudden moment I turn to find a glass smashed on the floor as I go to pick it up I have an urge to turn my head, and I do, I get a little shocked to see someone in my bed an old man yet its me.
I again find myself transported into this man laid in this bed useless and still I can see a large black screen getting closer and closer till it covers all of the bright white light I then find myself in a black enclosed space like I am enclosed in a locked box
Shannon cox
I feel a presence, someone, something behind me. I struggle to see, struggle to stand. The bathroom. I slowly walk over knowing there is nothing there but something draws me to it. Nothing. It's the same thing everyday but i never learn, never learn that there's nothing there. I trudge slowly back to my table annoyed by my foolishness once again. Once sat down I reach for my cup when it falls, breaking into a million pieces of glass scattering the floor. I look up to see a figure, a familiar figure I've seen a million times before but never get used too. A man laying limp in my bed. Is it me? I already know the answer but too scared to answer it. I close my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next. I open my eyes coming face to face with the ceiling. The soft bed bellow me supporting my fragile body. My sore body, My skin feel rough sore to the touch. I feel my arm rising, then my head. Pointing to a black square in front of me. The square gets closer and closer. Closer to seeing my life flash before my eyes. Another day, the same story. My story
ReplyDeleteCordelia
DeleteI realy like the way you repeated
Delete"I open my eyes tight knowing what will happen next" as it ingages the reader and makes them feel the panic and helplessness that the character is feeling
I feel so sick. I need help. I dont know how long i have left. Do i have one minute, two minute, three minute or 4 minute left. I wonder what will happen once my time is up. Does anyone even realise that i have disappeared, or even that my agony is becoming worse. Why is no one here with me. I direct my eyes north, towards the ceiling which i am now focussing on. I gently close my eyes and all of these flashbacks of the memories since i was a young child appear.
ReplyDeleteMy wish as a child was to always be like my father (who sadly passed) who was once a astronaut in a red suit that i have always wanted.
The precious red suit is now in my possesion. I have never been so happy. I look at my self in the mirror and see the resembilence of my father. I turn 90 degrees clockwise and i see a figure in black. I squint my eyes and get a closer look of who this man could be. He looks just like me, this cant be. It really is me.
I am now in control of this man who is sitting at this empty table. And slowly reach for a napkin but I accidently knock over the glass. I watch as is shatters against the tiled floor.
I look up and see, once again another version of me, however a very old man laying in a bed, looking so sick. Where is his family.
I blink and realise that i am that man. I am the sick man without any family around me.
Suddenly, a black box appears in front of me. A small fetus appears. Is that me. It must be.
I guess that was a sign telling me that my time has come.
Its my turn to die.
Destinee
I'm here, i've arrived into this mysterious house. But where exactly am I? The room is soo bright and vivid, everything soo white and glossy, so drifferent. I look accross to the other room, I see an old man wearing a long black coat, sitting on his desk, writing something. He turns and there... just there... i know who this man is. It's me? this man is me? i know it is. He turns back towards his desk moving to to another, he looks accross his shoulder, looking at the very old man who's laying in a bed. He looks poorly, soo old and fragile; I then take a look again at the old man and realise thats me aswell, that is the end of the stage, my life.
ReplyDeleteMariya
I took a few steps into my old house, the one my wife, kids and i used to live in, before i took my journey into outer space. I'd been sent back to see if our world survived... i knew it had been a long time that I'd been gone, but clearly hadnt registered the length of time i've been gone. it was as if it had been centuries since I walked down this corridors. But? nothing seems right? the atmosphere around me made me feel like invader of my own home.
ReplyDeletesearching the rooms to try find my beloved wife and kids, i came to a peculiar room, I slowly walked in. Everything dirty grey. Wait? I found myself to mirror, who am i? No, clearly no? How... how could it of been that long, how long has it truely bin?
Faith
Days after days. I’m trying to break free; break free of my body. Of who I.
ReplyDeleteMy Life is a blur; being born, making friends, having a family. All memories washed away leaving me broken.
This is who I am and I can’t change it.
Every day, every hour, every minute, every second I think why me? Why do I have to forget? Why do I have to live a life I don’t want?
I can’t even look at myself without feeling pain, anger, hurt.
The pain is over... its all over.
Jess
Absolutely wonderful stories everybody! Well done on creating such an imaginative and lovely blog post to read.
ReplyDeleteWhere am I? It took some time for my eyes to adjust, the floor shone so bright. Where am I? How did I get here? I look around the room and I feel like I’ve been here before. It was like de ja vau. The curiosity was unbearable; I neared the room that was next door only to find a mirror. Was that me? When I was younger? Yes. Yes. That man was me. I was standing. My legs were in perfect condition. How did this happen? How did I get here? More importantly why? I look towards myself in the mirror. Hundreds of questions arise in my mind. It was if my mind was a cinema and thousands of questions flickered onto the screen for a mere millisecond. Wanting to know more I approached another room where I saw this man.
ReplyDeleteI looked around the room and there was a white bed with very minimal décor. This man was dressed in black sitting at a table, very intrigued and after thinking about it, I reliase that, that man is also me but when I was a bit older. I needed to find out what was going on; I walked into the room where I took a seat and just though for a minute. It was so silent it was enough to make you insane. To hear an entire breath. An entire movement. My dumped my head into my hands. I felt the warmth from my hands slowly reach the inside of my head. I couldn’t help but think. Is this real? Is it a dream?
I feel this presence, like there is someone else in the room with me. I turn to look towards the bed and finally I see the real me. It was me lying in a bed. Frozen and still. I couldn’t move. Suddenly I felt like I was floating. Like I was nothing but air and I clenched my eyes shut as tight as I could. I could feel pain in my chest. I felt like I was being spun around a thousand miles per hour and feel like I was in a hole. Suddenly it all stops. I slowly open my eyes dreading where I would be. I was me again. I look to the end of the bed towards my feet, except I can’t. It was if I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move. I tried with all the strength, strength I didn’t even know I had in me. I see this black box in front of me without even trying I could lift my hand up towards a certain point and after that point it would go no higher. What was going on?
Was this the end?
Siarah
In mice of men, John Steinbeck creates the atmosphere of the place he is talking about in a very interesting way.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, he goes on to describe the setting in which his characters will be in. He first tells us where the actual area is "a few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green" the words "hillside" and "bank" tells us that the area is full of hills and water. We associate the word "hillside" to be in the coast, quiet and peaceful. This tells the reader that the atmosphere is peaceful and calm.
John Steinbeck then goes onto explain the shape of the setting through imagery. "the golden foothill slopes curve up to strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains" This tells us that the setting is mountainous and strong. This gives us an image in our heads of mountains, hills, trees and water.
Thirdly, John Steinbeck describes the types of animals that were around in the setting. "rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of ' coons, and with the spread of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark" The word "'coons" tells us that the narrator of this extract uses slang. The word coon is associated with racoons. This tells us that the "coons" only come out at night. This tells us that during the day, the setting is very peaceful as there is little animals around.
In the third paragraph, the narrator explains the scene. "the shade climbed up the hills toward the top" this informs us that the scene is taking place in the morning. The writer is also using personification to describe how the shade may act if it were human. This sparks an imagination in our minds.
By Caitlin warner
DeleteThe opening chapter in Of Mice and Men is important because it gives us hints on what is to come later. The novel starts by Steinbeck describing a calm soothing mountainside, then two men emerge; George and Lennie. However, Steinbeck doesn't physically phrase names.
ReplyDeleteThey break the peace, the animals scatter and the two men make quite a bit of noise. Steinbeck is telling us that everything is alright, but then these two men come along and ruin everything; this is important later on as George and Lennie end up at this same place at the end of the novel, this is where their dream ends. It plays a significant part in the novel.
George, the first character to be introduced, is described as a "small and quick, dark of face" man with "restless eyes and sharp strong features". This tells us that he is an intellectual man, who is presumably the leader. However, the second man Lennie is described as completely his opposite, a "huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, with wide, sloping shoulders". This gives us the impression he is quite a large man, and is tired, maybe from walking a long distance.
Ria
Thanks Ria, Caitlin and Siarah for these lovely comments so far. I've created a new post on the blog specifically for these comments on 'Of Mice and Men'. Would you be able to copy and past them into the new post?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAnonymous15 September 2014 07:26
In mice of men, John Steinbeck creates the atmosphere of the place he is talking about in a very interesting way.
Firstly, he goes on to describe the setting in which his characters will be in. He first tells us where the actual area is "a few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green" the words "hillside" and "bank" tells us that the area is full of hills and water. We associate the word "hillside" to be in the coast, quiet and peaceful. This tells the reader that the atmosphere is peaceful and calm.
John Steinbeck then goes onto explain the shape of the setting through imagery. "the golden foothill slopes curve up to strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains" This tells us that the setting is mountainous and strong. This gives us an image in our heads of mountains, hills, trees and water.
Thirdly, John Steinbeck describes the types of animals that were around in the setting. "rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of ' coons, and with the spread of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark" The word "'coons" tells us that the narrator of this extract uses slang. The word coon is associated with racoons. This tells us that the "coons" only come out at night. This tells us that during the day, the setting is very peaceful as there is little animals around.
In the third paragraph, the narrator explains the scene. "the shade climbed up the hills toward the top" this informs us that the scene is taking place in the morning. The writer is also using personification to describe how the shade may act if it were human. This sparks an imagination in our minds.
Caitlin Warner